Dishwasher.

Dear Dad,
                 So our dishes have been getting done by hand for about six months now. The dishwasher just quit working one day. It wouldn't drain and the water in the bottom was starting to stink. I checked the drain hose and it seemed OK so I told my wife that I would get it fixed as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Of course she does the dishes while I am at work so I quickly forgot about it. Lately I found myself doing dishes by hand two or three times a week and that just won't do. Time to go to work.

               I got my cordless drill and removed the screws from the face of the machine and stared at the guts until my head hurt. I completely removed the drain hose and ran a jet of high pressure water through it. I drained the gunky water out of the dishwasher onto the kitchen floor. Then I mopped up the mess and reattached the hose. I wondered how the water built enough pressure to drain up through the hose to the top of the garbage disposal. To figure it out I ran the dishwasher and observed the coil heat up, the washer filled with water but still wouldn't empty. Both the top and bottom water jets were dispensing but it sounded weak and the spinners weren't spinning. I re-removed the front panel (again) and ran the washer while watching the motor. OK, I thought. The motor turns but there is nothing attached to it. Why does it turn then? Ahah.... where is the drive belt? I discovered it broken behind the machine. I then drove to two hardware stores and then finally an appliance parts and repair shop before I found the right part. When I got home I installed the new belt, which is much easier said than done by the way.

            Now I don't have to dishes by hand, and as an added bonus the wife is so excited about the machine being fixed she is using it. I didn't have to do dishes at all which gave me time to write this letter. Here's a quick recap, no dishes for me. I got to play with tools. The wife is bound to show appreciation for the working appliance. The gal at the hardware store was cute. My oldest son thinks I am the coolest dad ever. I feel good about myself. I saved a bunch of money (not by switching to Geico) and well basically, I AM THE MAN! Of course the possible downside is that the family might start to expect me to fix all the broken crap around here. Now I am getting depressed and afraid of what tomorrow will hold, perhaps I am not the man. Perhaps I am just a guy who got lucky fixing an appliance without electrocuting himself. A guy who spent three hours fixing the thing to avoid twenty minutes of dish washing. Oh well life goes on, I am going to go hide in the basement until dinner is ready. I can hear the kids breaking stuff already.

             Love,
                      your enslaved middle American suburbia handyman son.